Today is Just Today

“Ever tried.

Ever failed.

No matter.

Try again.

Fail again.

Fail better…”

- Samuel Beckett

I have crawled out of so many pits, each one that I dug for myself after having crawled out of the last one. 

I find, some mornings, the amount of work I have in store for myself to be overwhelming in the extreme. But viewing life in its entirety will do that to me, so much to get done, and so many obstacles and road blocks I’ve laid out for myself. 

Today is just today, nothing more. Right now is nothing more than right now. I can do right now, and I can do today. 

Today I’ll fail better. 

Ethan Suplee

Spotlight: Albert Torres

Tell us your story: I was obese for the majority of my life. I was called fat since elementary school. One moment I will never forget was when in 8th grade, my class was being weighed for the BMI Index, I weighed in at 230lbs. It just stuck with me how big I got.

That summer, I tried losing weight by tracking my calories but that didn't stick for too long. High school came and went and I had gotten up to 260lbs. I remember December 2019, it was Christmas Day and I had just let myself go; I ate like a pig and just something clicked in my head that I needed to lose weight, but this time to lose weight.

Like everyone else, I tried to lose weight but lacked motivation and a solid goal. You think of a big number, but if it seems too big, you become scared and give up. I started to set little goals for myself. I had a big number to reach, but also celebrated little victories, like every 5lbs lost and every 10lbs lost to keep myself motivated.

My final goal was 100lbs down. I started just tracking my calories, watching what I ate, and working out every day, then began a deficit and still working out daily. I lost about 40lbs when the pandemic hit, and I began to worry. I thought I would revert back to my old habits and I would lose my progress. But, I bought a bench press and an elliptical and still was in a deficit. By July, I was 80lbs down. I put on about 20lbs over the course of a few months due to old habits creeping back in, but currently I'm doing maintenance, which I learned thanks to you and your podcast!

After my birthday on 7/4, I am going to do another cut to get the last 40lbs off to hit my goal. It has been a journey for sure, but it has been a huge part of my life. I am even changing my major to Kinesiology because of my passion for nutrition and working out. Thank you for your podcast, it has been amazing hearing your story and your guests share their knowledge, it has been a learning experience, and I can't thank you enough. Thank you Ethan, you're the fucking GOAT.

Allowing Yourself Grace

I’m on location shooting a movie. I dieted in preparation. I’m at a great weight, lower a bit than the last movie I dieted for, God Is A Bullet. 

I broke my own cardinal rule, never watch playback. The director was showing me something we’d just shot and I caught, what looked to my eye, an unflattering angle. For me, unflattering means fat. 

This whole escapade threatened to ruin my day, drag my attention away from work, away from taking in the direction I was given, and listening to the other actors, and leave me stewing in a pit of narcissistic whoa is me’s. But, I don’t know that I have the time or patience for that anymore. I see my self as fat most of the time. I don’t want that to slow me down anymore. Especially when I’ve objectively come so far. Even my mental garbage can’t deny that. 

I hope you all can allow some grace for yourselves, it feels nice. 

Ethan Suplee

Spotlight: Alec Brooks

For most of my life, food was a source of comfort. I used to think food was either inherently good, or inherently bad. I hated the “good” food and loved the “bad.” I stuffed myself at every meal almost every day, drank soda like it was going out of style, and hated anything to do with exercise.

The first time I ever had to do anything in the realm of fitness was 7th grade. I thought some kids were naturally good, and some weren’t. I placed myself in the not naturally good category. I never thought I could run a mile in under 11 minutes. I had many rock bottoms through high school.

My first time going to a big and tall store was my sophomore year. I had to buy jeans that were 44 inches at the waist and 32 long. That same year I couldn’t complete the gym final exam, which was a simple 20 minute run around the gym floor. I don’t know exactly how heavy I was, but I would estimate from 315-320 lbs. I thought I was going to be out of shape my entire life and that this was who I was.

A year after I graduated, one simple video changed my life. I’m a pro wrestling fan, and Chris Jericho had just returned in the best shape he’d ever been in. He attributed this to changing his fitness routine to only do what is known as DDP Yoga. DDP Yoga is a form of yoga developed by Diamond Dallas Page. I watched a video on YouTube titled “Never Give Up.” It’s the story of a paratrooper that served in the Gulf War. Years of jumping out of planes messed up his knees and back. He was told he’d never walk unassisted again, he was well over 300 pounds and felt lost. He had every excuse to accept that’s who he was but he didn’t. He used bands, bricks, and chairs to help himself complete the workouts and within less than a year he was sprinting in a park. I watched this 5 minute video and it single handedly changed my life.

I ordered the DDP Yoga DVDs and my journey began the summer of 2012. I didn’t pay attention to diet or anything, I just did the workouts and saw almost immediate progress. Over the years I would stop working out for weeks or months at a time. I would join a gym and then quit, or I’d continue bringing food at an unhealthy rate.

I eventually made the decision in 2016 to refocus myself and really put in the work. I learned about nutrition, I held myself accountable and made sure to do my workouts, and overtime the weight just started melting off. In 2018 I weighed in at 215, effectively losing 100 pounds. It was the proudest thing I had ever done and I can honestly say I’m a better person for it.

Fitness is no longer a burden and food is no longer a source of comfort. I still enjoy a meal from time to time, but I’m much more intentional about my food and don’t feel the need to overeat. Currently I jump rope as my main form of fitness and it’s the most fun I’ve ever had. I’ve even had people tell me I inspired them to begin a journey of their own, which is absolutely wild to me.

I hope people know that fitness can be a positive thing and I hope my story can help change someone’s mind about fitness or nutrition.

- Alec Brooks

Summer Body

It’s about to be June, you didn’t make your summer body, now what?

I’ve found these type of goals to be a double edged sword. I have, in my life, set a lofty goal or two and achieved them. When they were solely results based, I uniformly felt an empty sort of disappointment. 

A goal can seem to motivate me, but when it’s not in service to some broader purpose, often the result doesn’t deliver all that I’d hoped. In 2021, I dieted down to my absolute leanest, in order to take a semi-nude picture to share with the world. Though I actually got lower on the scale than I’d hoped to, and though every mental metric was achieved, i.e., visible abs, quad separation and vascularity, I felt unsatisfied. The next year I did a movie, where for some portion of it, I would be shirtless but in overalls. I wanted to be lean for this movie, so set a weight goal, dieted down to it, hit it and managed to maintain it for the duration of filming. I felt that I should’ve set a lower goal, worked harder, lost more, gotten leaner, but with larger muscles. In a couple weeks, I’m heading to the center of the country to shoot a movie, I will be shirtless for its entirety, YIKES. For this latest one, I set a weight goal to hit, got a few pounds lower, and guess what, dissatisfaction reigns supreme.

I don’t want to dissuade myself from ambition, I like working towards things. Those things that seem to produce the greatest satisfaction once achieved, for me, are process based. Every day that I make a plan and stick to it, every time I win the day, I am filled with a glowing warmth that far surpasses any of my results.

For me, the overcoming of obstacles, whether they be physical, emotional, or mental, seems to provide a much greater sense of accomplishment than any of the materially physical gains I believe I so badly want. 

Every time I set some material goal and am dissatisfied with results, I try and remember the feeling of pride I got each day I was successful at the process.

What can you succeed at today?

Today, I will not eat privately, hidden away from leering eyes that might dissuade me from the over consumption that I am so drawn to. I will not binge eat, that feeling of euphoria and the need to lay down isn’t greater than the energy I get from a practically portioned meal. I will not eat to provide emotional comfort, to assuage anxiety, to calm my frayed nerves.

Today I will seek discomfort, running away gives it power and robs me of agency. I will welcome that discomfort, allow it to consume every inch of me, and show it that it has no real power over me.

With summer almost upon us, no matter - What can you succeed at today? 

Ethan Suplee

Spotlight: Caitlin Mitchell

Hi! I am a 36 year old mom of 4, a teacher, a wife to my high school sweetheart and a newly certified and aspiring school administrator.

In January of 2020 pictures were shared amongst my friends of my birthday celebration and I was mortified; I didn’t even recognize myself. I started Keto 3 days later, and in the last 17 months I have lost 120 lbs.

No one ever talks about the mental roller coaster of extreme weight loss and that is one of the many reasons I love your podcast so much. I am currently at the point in my journey of trying to figure out maintenance and reincorporating all food groups.

Goal= healthy and strong. I’d love to share my story and you can see more of it at my IG @MaineKetoMama

Thanks for inspiring me everyday to stay on this path of wellness, Ethan.

Here and Now

Sometimes it’s hard for me to stay present. 

Right now, after having done a quick top to bottom inventory of myself, I’m ok. But sometimes I’m not. 

Eating eased this.  

Drugs and alcohol eased this. 

It was always a quick and easy trade off, comfort now, for discomfort later. If I can continually find comfort now, maybe I will never have to experience those perils of humanity, physical and emotional discomfort.

Mostly this is what I’ve been running from my whole life, discomfort. I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today. The interest wasn’t much fun at all though. 

When I am feeling discomfort today, or even when the idea of a Big Mac suddenly appears in my mind, I will check in with myself. Am I okay? 

If not, can I trust that I will be?

If I can stay present through the discomfort, there will be no price to pay later. 

Because, everything in my life that produces long-term comfort has required acceptance of a little discomfort in the now.

Ethan Suplee

Spotlight: Adam Freese

I am an over eater, emotional eater and have been very overweight my entire life. in 2019 I was at my heaviest of 340lb. I couldn't look in the mirror anymore and be happy.

I started to kickbox and eat right and lost 100lb and was in good shape, I had more to go but Covid shut us all down and I lost all motivation as many have. I am now back up to 300lb and feel terrible.

Today I start my health journey again and will try and model what Ethan has done. I have found what I belie to be his work out on line and will be doing that going forward.

I know I can’t ever be ripped at 45 years old but I want to be toned and happy again. Thank you Ethan for inspiring and keeping us all moving.

Regards,

Adam Freese

Spotlight: Aaron Pearson

As an adult I've battled with my weight for the last 15 years. Yoyoing between being a healthy weight and unhealthy weight over and over again. In December of 2020 I got COVID and fortunately my case was very mild despite being a lifelong asthmatic who gets bronchitis 1-2 times yearly.

In April of 2021 I decided again to lose weight and be healthier overall. About 1 month in I stumbled upon this AG podcast and it changed everything. I was a fan of Ethan and many of his movies and My Name Is Earl and found his weightloss journey so motivational and haven't missed an episode although I sometimes fall behind I always catch up.

During July of 2021 I was diagnosed with diverticulitis and decided to completely cut out red meat and cut way back on dairy. By December of 2021 I had lost 50lbs since I started in April and I feel like Ethan and the AG podcast are a huge contributor to my success... so far.

His approach of cutting for a certain amount of time followed by a maintenance period has completely changed the way I look at dieting and getting healthier and for the 1st time have maintained my weight for the past 8 weeks. This Saturday (02/05/2022) upon waking up I'll weigh myself (1 time per month) and starting Sunday I will start 6 weeks of cutting with the goal of reaching 170lbs which is a weight I haven't been at in 16+years.

I started this journey at 226lbs (obese according to my doctor) and in December I weighed in at 176lbs which I never thought would be possible. I'm so excited that my new goal of 170lbs is withing my grasp and I get so pumped up telling people my journey and helping them get started on theirs. Thank you AG podcast for changing my life.

Thank you again,

Aaron Pearson

AG Prep Deck

I’ve been maintaining gloriously for a couple years now. I say gloriously because it requires very little effort at this point. 

Alas, I’ve got a job coming up that requires nudity… for me, a tank top feels like nudity. I was in a video game a couple years ago called The Quarry, in it my character is wearing overalls with no shirt underneath, NUDITY!

In this new project, it’s a full on topless expose, and though I’m not meant to be particularly muscular or lean… vanity wins out, and I’m back to the moderate dieting life once again.

What better excuse than to put the Prep Deck to use. 

I’ve been making at least one meal a day from it, always a surprise, and I haven’t been disappointed yet!

This was a cabbage slaw, some steamed rice, and lean ground turkey cooked with ginger, garlic and shallots. 

IT’S DELICIOUS!!!

Spotlight: Briley Morgan

Life is a series of choices and many of my decisions haven’t been great. It’s so easy to choose negative and get stuck in a cycle of negative. But if we choose positive and continue to choose positive, our goals could be closer to us than we think.

My weight loss journey started at over 300lbs and now I’m 198lbs and 7% body fat. No steroids or PEDs, just a bunch of hard ass work! Nutrition is the key and knowing what my body requires.

I lost majority of my body fat by just lifting weights and diet alone. NO CARDIO.. when I tell people that, it blows their mind!

People that didn’t know me before can’t believe my before picture is actually me.

What Ethan has done is one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen and it inspires me to make positive choices every day. Thank you!

God bless,

Briley

Do More

So much today is predicated upon our need for efficiency. Most of what I spent my life in pursuit of was an exhausting search for conserved energy through efficiency. I say this in the starkest terms, this isn’t poetic or metaphorical. When I weighed 500+ pounds, every movement was first judged through an efficiency calculator in my brain. Every, single, one.

I’m hot, and would be much cooler with the removal of a top layer or sweater, but at what cost of exerted energy? And would the discomfort based upon that exertion be more or less valuable to me than the discomfort I felt without it? These calculations were a constant. I would drive around tirelessly in search of the absolute closest parking spot, look for paths that avoided stairs so long as they didn’t add so much distance so as to be a wash in my ultimate goal, conserving energy.

Today I still have to push myself through these mental gymnastics, albeit with a new paradigm. Today I am looking for every way possible to exert as much energy into the world as I possibly can, while retaining just enough energy to replicate my actions tomorrow, and tomorrow’s tomorrow, and all the tomorrow’s from here on. 

At less than half my former size, a simple thing like walking up a few stairs, rushing to catch a plane, or even intentionally finding the furthest possible parking spot, won’t come close to incapacitating me like it once did. My life is not a constant tug of war between exhausted and fatigued, I am not covered in an omnipresent layer of sweat as my body tries to cool its overburdened system. But that mental circuitry that I built up in my formidable years persists, and I must keep that in focus if I am to defeat it, day in, day out, forever. Do more.

Spotlight: Zenaida D.

284 was my heaviest record when I got out the military. I relied heavy on a bottle of alcohol, a liter of coke and fast food 3 times a day for years.

Denial helped the behavior alive a long as I convinced myself that as long as I had a great job and going to school I didn’t have a problem. Which was far from true, I ended up being diagnosed with major depressive disorder and a long list of mental and physical disabilities.

After a couple of years of therapy and entering into the “asking for help” world. I saw a lot of things that was not right. Being offered medications over and over again without other options just didn’t sit well with me.

So I created an option called Iron Therapy 2.0. A gym free for everyone that wants to find their inner hero by simply saying yes. I teach classes 6 days a week because I believe you can live a life without medications.

Vulnerability

When we stop doping ourselves with unnecessary food, we become vulnerable. We have been using extra food as a defense against our feelings. Without it, fears and anxieties surface and new energies are released. Instead of retreating into the refrigerator, we can learn day by day how to live with our exposed selves.

Making an overture of friendship to someone we would like to know better involves the risk of rejection. Saying no to a family member when a request conflicts with our program may make us feel guilty. Asking for help when we need it means admitting our weakness. Exposing our needs destroys our facade of self-sufficiency.

To be vulnerable requires courage, but only as we are able to live without the defense of overeating are we able to grow emotionally and spiritually. When we stop turning to food to cover up our feelings and needs, we are able to be more open with other people. We are nourished by them and by the Higher Power who allays our fears and directs our new energies.
May I not fear being vulnerable.

- From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.

Spotlight: Shane T.

The best place to start is at the beginning. I started to gain weight in third grade. The bullying about my weight started in 4th grade. I was always one of the bigger kids without the excess weight. I was bullied at school daily and I was bullied at home about my weight by one of my older siblings. The summer after sixth grade, I went to a wrestling camp and I was 5'4" tall and weighed 141 pounds. At the start of my sophomore year in high school, I was 5'9" tall and weighed 139 pounds. High school went fairly well weight wise although I was dealing with my changing schools, my parents' divorce and all the other crap that you deal with in high school. I graduated high school at 6'0" tall and 190 pounds. The weight was starting to come back on.

My whole family has struggled with weight. It has been a lifelong battle. Peaks and valleys. Minor successes followed by setbacks. I have done different diets. Exercise came in spurts. Positive self-esteem has always been a challenge. It's been the ongoing life of the fat kid trying to find some direction and success.

Finally, in September 2019, I joined a gym and had a great trainer. I took the team training classes with my wife and we have stuck to the exercises since. We took three classes per week. I had lost 24 pounds and was feeling successful. Then, something happened in June of 2020 and I gained it all back, plus another 10 pounds, despite adding bicycling to my weekly workouts. In May of this year (2021), we switched gyms and joined a CrossFit gym. I have added two workouts a week which brings me up to five workouts per week. I am back on the calorie counting and am hoping that I can get back to my goal of 250. I had gone from 276 pounds to 254 pounds from September 2019 to June 2020. Then the weight started coming back. I have reached a weight of 286 pounds. I am tightening up my nutrition and calories, along with the extra workouts, to try and get the fat off and the pounds down.

I am seeing some success at the new gym. It's all showing up, putting in the work, pushing past the discomfort to make gains on my goals. As I always tell people....Baby steps. Keep moving forward.

AG First Steps Club

Where to begin?
The beginning of any journey starts with a single step. It’s a hackneyed trope, but true nonetheless. The journey might even be littered with countless instances of first steps. Every tired morning requires a first step, one foot before the next, just to get out of bed.

I like moving my body through space and time, outside, because I always -full stop- always, feel better afterwards. This is possibly due in some part to never actually wanting to begin, but once I overcome this, and succeed, I’ve won. I’ve proven to myself that I can do something that isn’t strictly fun, that indeed leaves me feeling better, but is in some part a constant negotiation or minimally, a dismissal of the urge to quit, to pack it in, to give up.

The speed, distance or difficulty has nothing whatsoever to do with my goal. My gain is simply and profoundly in accomplishing something I set out to do.

Taking a walk requires no great commitment, no annual dues, no major life rearrangement, the barrier to entry is as low as it gets.
There are plenty of groups for like minded people to get together and do something active, running and cycling meetups, amateur sporting enthusiasts gather on weekends and evenings to practice or “play” with each other. The community within these fellowships can be quite powerful. We together are greater than I alone.

So, on days that I awake able to remember the reward of accomplishment or feeling useless and failed, worthless and depressed, I take a walk. I look around at the world around me and am reassured that it’s not as bad as I’d thought and that I am capable of that first step.
Join me for a walk. 🚶🚶‍♀️🚶‍♂️

Join Ethan on a walk!
Sunday, March 10th at 9 a.m.
Central Park, NYC
Exact meeting place given when you email here:

FirstStepsClub@AmericanGlutton.net

Not in New York? Please email us what city you are in so we can notify you when he is making steps to be there!

Save the Shams!

“What are ‘Shams’?” Brandy asks with equal bits impatience and curiosity.

“What?” I reply having no idea what she’s talking about.

“Shams. SHAMS!” She’s getting irritated.

“Babe, I have no idea what you’re talking about. What’s a shams? Do you mean Sham 69 the Oi band?”

“No! Magical creatures called shams that you told the girls about.”

For the life of me I have no memory of this at all.

Shams?

I look at her with wide eyes, throw up my hands and shrug.

“They were feeling especially sad about the poor shams being kept in captivity. They were complaining about it on the way to school today and asked if we could go and visit them in their factory.”

It rushed back to me.

“Oh god.”

“YEAH!”

“Did I never tell them that wasn’t real?”

“When did you tell them any of it?”

“A few years ago.”

“What?!”

 Clementine and Grace were 3 and 5, I was washing, or rather helping them wash their hair.

“Don’t use too much shampoo.” I said, “It’s mean to the Shams.”

 “It’s not like we didn’t raise them with a bunch of wacky false beliefs. Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, The EASTER BUNNY! That motherfucker shits chocolate eggs!” I’m trying to defend myself, but I know that the shams story was too much. I can’t really believe I didn’t immediately tell them it was BS. 

“Clementine is EIGHT! Can you imagine if she’d brought this up at school?” My wife is also in a state of total disbelief. Who the fuck is she married to who would tell her kids some wildly absurd story about poor oppressed shams.

“I feel like I thought maybe they knew it was fake, like because it’s so ridiculous.” I’m grasping at straws.

 “What are shams?” Clementine asks.

“They’re these small magical creatures that a big evil corporation caught in a jungle. We wash our hair with their fecal matter.” I say nonchalantly.

“What’s that?” She asks.

“Poo. A single Sham can easily produce a whole bottle of Sham-Poo over the course of its lifetime. But they never get to go outside or get their tummies rubbed, which I’ve heard they really like.”

“Are they nice?” Grace asks.

“Yeah, it’s awful. But you guys need tangle free hair, so we keep buying it.”

In all fairness to myself, I enjoy the sham-poo story a bit too much. It reassures me that most of what I believe about the world is just stories that someone made up, it really takes the pressure off.

The girls miss the shams, I think they preferred the world where magical creatures shit shampoo for their tangle free hair.

Spotlight: Lucas S.

My name is Lucas and I live in Illinois about 5 minutes outside St. Louis.

As far back as I can remember I’ve always been the biggest kid. All throughout grade and high school I was picked on and belittled for my size. I played football all through high school my senior season I weighed somewhere shy of 300lbs. After football was over I continued to eat without any of the working out. Over the next 7 years I drank and ate myself to being in the neighborhood of 550lbs.

July 2018 I decided I have had enough.

I was depressed, drinking uncontrollably, and needed change in my life. I went to a doctor to check all of bloodwork to see what needed to be done.

Fast forward to a year and a half later I’m down to 360lbs and a friend of mine convinced me to join a CrossFit gym. The last year and a half I have spent working on myself, going to CrossFit, running, walking trails, and follow a diet plan. I am now proud to say as of this morning I weigh 278lbs, but I am not done. Every day I look in the mirror I see that 500+ lbs guy and it pushes me to be healthier.

We weave these webs for ourselves

We have an idea and move forward, halfway down the path that idea fades and we are in no-man’s land without a compass, without a canteen of water, without a flashlight, no maps or guidance of any sort.

The only plausible success is pushing forward. Whatever the new day brings, whatever attitudes and emotions, whatever our current perspective offers, the only real success can be pushing forward despite it all.

If we do not, we’ll find eventually that as we look back at our lives, it’s littered with unfinished paths, that the ideas of greatness we once had are discarded when resistance is met, we will be ashamed and sink back into apathy.

Let the knowledge that you set yourself upon this path be your motivation and guiding light.

You will find yourself in this exact predicament many times throughout your life and know that the difference between you and those apathetic masses is that you are not swayed by mere emotions, you are a juggernaut of triumph. You know hardship unlike most and you have the fortitude to beat back the most severe obstacle you’ll ever encounter, yourself.

Spotlight: Eric R.

I have struggled with weight my whole life, starting at 7 years old.

A bit of a nightmarish childhood with abusive parents, they reinforced the idea that if you didn’t clear your plate, you’d take a beating, and the portions were always too large for me. By 5th grade, I was wearing size 36 jeans and xl shirts. I eventually got to 415 pounds.

In 2016, when I moved out to Austin, I fell in love with powerlifting and went from 415 down to around 250. Fell in love for all the wrong reasons, and my weight slowly crept back up. During covid I exploded back out to 425-ish. I got sick of being who I am, so I asked for help for the first time in my life.

I had bariatric surgery 9/1/2022, started back in the gym 6 weeks later, divorced said wrong person, and have been loving the journey. Currently I’m 188lbs and for the first time in my life have muscle definition. Seeing veins pop on my forearm after a strong arm day is something that never gets old.