Allowing Yourself Grace

I’m on location shooting a movie. I dieted in preparation. I’m at a great weight, lower a bit than the last movie I dieted for, God Is A Bullet. 

I broke my own cardinal rule, never watch playback. The director was showing me something we’d just shot and I caught, what looked to my eye, an unflattering angle. For me, unflattering means fat. 

This whole escapade threatened to ruin my day, drag my attention away from work, away from taking in the direction I was given, and listening to the other actors, and leave me stewing in a pit of narcissistic whoa is me’s. But, I don’t know that I have the time or patience for that anymore. I see my self as fat most of the time. I don’t want that to slow me down anymore. Especially when I’ve objectively come so far. Even my mental garbage can’t deny that. 

I hope you all can allow some grace for yourselves, it feels nice. 

Ethan Suplee