Spotlight: Carolyn R.
Why am I changing who I am? Because F**k cancer.
Where to begin is the question. I've struggled all of my life with my weight. Food was a way to cope with emotions of my childhood that I just didn't want to express with others for fear of judgment. I always thought "well, this my life." I've been okay with it too. My husband at the time (we're still friends so no bad feelings over that) didn't seem to mind. My friends all loved and accepted me as I was.
Things didn't stay that way, however. When I was 24 I finally sought help for the random pains in my abdomen. At the time, I was seeing military doctors who were trying to figure out the issue. One thing that changed the course of everything was a terrifying call from home. My sister (36 at that time) was taken in for emergency surgery on her lower abdomen. It scared me so much we made the four-hour drive from Fort Bragg back to Charlotte, NC where our family was. We were almost there when I got another phone call. Stage four colon cancer had caused the issue that led to the emergency procedure. Had she waited any longer and she'd have died from an infection. It tore me apart.
For ten years I watched as my best friend and role model battled the odds. I'm forever thankful for her doctors for helping her live an almost normal life for those years. During this time my mother also fell ill to kidney failure and heart failure. I lost them both- though I believe my mother was more of a broken heart than anything.
Two years later- having battled through much of my grief I find myself at the age of 36- the same age my sister was when her life changed forever. I've been getting screened ever since the initial diagnosis and I consider myself lucky to have been free of danger all of this time. I thank the army doctors for that since they pushed me back to get screened and caught the early signs of it. (They removed them successfully and none have come back since) Lifestyle is a huge factor in fighting these genetic dispositions. I find myself ready to make that change and I have been making that change. I'm 5'4'' and started this journey in late March at the weight of 317 pounds. I am currently 277. I can't believe I'm double digits from the goal I set with my doctor. I may even go beyond that. I've worked hard at this- changed my relationship with food and my mindset that helped lead me to obesity. I also wasn't afraid to get help this time through a bariatric doctor. He's been tremendous in all of this. We reworked my diet and took me back to eating closer to nature with smaller meals throughout the day. I'm avoiding surgery as I'm proving so far that I don't need it.
I'd like to add the scale isn't my best friend during this. My tailor's tape is. Those numbers do not lie.