Resolutions, Goals, & Challenges

As we welcome month two of 2023, I am curious to know whether those who made resolutions have stuck to them, or if they’ve fallen by the wayside?

Late last year a producer on a television show I’m about to begin shooting asked if I’d “gain 10lbs” to more “Americanize me” for the show. I politely declined and brought up the fact that 10 pounds would be hardly noticeable to anyone else but intentionally gaining weight could be rather destructive to me. It’s also a hard thing to gauge, I could have a 10 pound swing because of a carby or salty weekend, but if I returned to my plan, it would come off pretty quickly. 10 pounds of fat… yikes!

I had been planning on getting lean for the show, but in light of the request decided just to go back to maintenance, and that has been going just fine. Except for the fact that maintenance feels fat to me. Maintenance feels like I’m not working hard enough and there is some part of me that emotionally feels that if I’m not working harder than is comfortable, the wheels are eventually going to fall off. There is still some masochistic bit of me that believes I deserve punishment. Yet of course all the while, maintenance is work! It’s not coasting, it’s not popping into McDonalds and taking days off. Yes, the days are easier than dieting, but it’s not auto-pilot and comfort food.

But the universe rewards me with negotiations for a summer job that wants leanness, that requires it! My dieting has been pushed off and I am resolute in maintaining with the idea of dieting in my future. (and if I’m being honest, maintenance for me could work with either definition of diet.)

So for those of you that have white knuckled your way through January, chapeau. And to those of you that have thrown in the towel, the Gregorian calendar is a societal invention that doesn’t have to work against us. The earth will spin around the sun in very nearly the same way, day in day out, whether it’s January, February, March, or April. And if any of you are anything like me, it definitely gets better, but it doesn’t end.

“Ever tried,
Ever failed.
No matter.
Try again,
Fail again.
Fail Better.”
- Samuel Beckett