Killing My Apathy

I woke up this morning and felt a wave of apathy engulf me. There was some distant sense of forebodings, the foggy path towards destruction sat just kinda off screen in my mind. Everything within me distracted from this path though, I was sinking into the very real feeling of carelessness. Carelessness about myself, my loved ones, my goals and the way these goals complimented every aspect of my life. 

Workout? Get up and go to the gym? Who care?! Getting out of bed seemed as though it would require the most monumental effort. Who cares?! 

Where will this take me? Where will I be when I do eventually care again? 

I asked myself these questions, I actually said them aloud while my wife was in the bathroom brushing her teeth. 

And then the carelessness gave way to fear. Because, it can get very bad. The fuckits which begin this way, have lead down the road to deaths door. 

That fear got me up today, and very quickly the carelessness faded, and then the fear faded, and I was back into my routine. 

I hope you success in fighting whatever demons yours might be. 

Ethan Suplee